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Undilah

Thursday, July 28, 2005

When fellow buaya's have lunch

A few days ago, this conversation took place when I was having lunch with Bear (Malay guy, early 30s, married) and Perut (Punjabi guy, mid-40s, married):

Belacans: Come, today we try this stall.

Bear: Sini kah? Aiyah, panas lar

Perut: Boleh lar, I sudah hungry. can pengsan you know?

Bear: This Perut ah, asyik-asyik pikiak makan aje...

*dush - Perut punches Bear's shoulders*

Belacans: ok, let's order. gua sudah manyak lapar.

*then, a sweet Aminah in baju kurung came to take our orders. I can sense Bear and Perut giving her a "scan". Later...*

Belacans: wah, you two har, manyak buaya lar. *wink wink*

Bear: eh? mana ada? kalau buaya, dapat dah number dia le.

Perut: me? buaya? mana ada? just... how you say?... appreciating the view!

*all: bwahahahaha*

Perut: Bear, cakap. apa you appreciate?

Bear: hehehe, you all know me lar. Saya suka itu breast. hehehe

Belacans: oh ya ke? hehehe, so what's your "expert" opinion?

Bear: i would say... 40D

*Belacans and Perut almost choke on their own saliva*

Perut: oi! Mana ada 40D? You tau ke tak tau ni? expert... keparat hotak engkau lah!

Bear: woi, not so loud lar! *laugh* ok, you cakap skarang. saiz apa?

Perut: hah, tentang subjek ini, saya memang expert. I say 34C. 100% jamin tepat.

Bear: wah, jamin lagi! betul ke ni?

Perut: mestilah. woi, i watch Hindustani shows, tau? we like it big!

*all: bwahahahaha*

Bear: ya ler. you India always get big big one, Melayu medium but kadang-kadang big jugak and.... sorry lar Belacans. I am so sad for you, hehehehe

Belacans: eh? tak payah sad for me ler. got best-best one also. must tengok whole package one.

Perut: hahaha, ini Bear manyak racist! racist, i tell you, racist racist racist!

*all: bwahahahahahahahaha LOL thumping table bwahahahaha*

Lunch hours are the best. One minute you talk about work, then mysteriously linked to sex, then linked to politics, then AP, then cars and then back to sex.....

Bear: Perut, I want to check whether your 100% jamin tepat is tepat.

Perut: *almost chokes on his nasi pattaya* hehehe, jangan lar. nanti malu pulak our cik adik.

Bear: hehehe, takut sial. hehehe. but tell me about bra sizes. i want to learn.

Belacans: huh? unbelievable. you tak tau ke?

Bear: sikit sikit lar.

Belacans: Come, i ajar you this system, sure won't forget one. Itu nombor is the ukurlilit just under the buah dada, dalam inci, and plus 4 inci. Faham?

Bear: oooo, begitu... why add 4 inci?

Belacans: hah, itu I dunno, but you should know about the cup size and that's the ABCD. So let's say our adik Aminah here has an ukurlilit of 30 inci, then add 4 you get 34 inci. Next is the ukurlilit at the tip. Let's say she got 40 inci. Tolak 34 inci from 40 inci you get 6 inci. That 6 inci is the cup size. So our cik Aminah would be err.... 34C lor.

Bear: woi! confusing lar! Got simpler method arr?

Belacans: not confusing. each 2 inci difference is an alphabet size. come, i draw you a table on this tissue paper.... (I wished I had kept that tissue paper and scanned it here... oh well)

A = 2 inci
B = 4
C = 6
D = 8
E = 10

You got that?

Perut: wooo, I see. But so technical, sure forget punya.

Belacans: *hits own forehead* aiyoyo! You all ni engineers or not arrr? Ok ok, I give you my personal system now. *writes on tissue paper again*

A = 2 inci = Airport
B = 4 = Bumpy
C = 6 = Can do
D = 8 = Damn syiok
E = 10 = Ecstasy

and added this

F = 12 = FAKE!

*all: bwahahahahaha*

Belacans says... "life long learning... yeah!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------
UPDATE: Got this comment from andycjw. Thanks bro!

your cup size thing is different from what i learnt, after checking victoria's secret website, mine is the correct one, you should add 5 inches instead of 4 to the measurement below bust, and each 1 inch difference is up one alphabet size, not 2 inch, and it's only until H cup, after H cup, each alphabet increment is then 2 inch, and double alphabet is in between value, so...
A=1", AA=1~2" (if below 1 inch, just forget about it, no need to measure i think)
B=2", BB=2~3"
C=3", CC=3~4"
D=4", DD=5", DDD=6"
E=5", EE=6", EEE=7"
so on... until
H=8", HH=9",
I=10", II=11" get it?

Wahlaueh, so now gotta update my Bra Cup list:

A = Airport
B = Bumpy
C = Can do
D = Damn syiok
E = Ecstasy
F = FAKE! FUIYOUH!
G = GoodnessGraciousMe! (contributed by James of Loopymeals.blogspot.com)
H = Holy balloons! :D :P

27 comments:

boo_licious said...

ROTLF. Love your personal classification!

Kucing Gatal said...

Wow, so scientific lah you buayas....

domesticgoddess said...

wahlau... you really expert hah! LOL! the explanation so detail!!!

5xmom.com said...

Da Buaya in his element! Oi, locally all at mostly bumpy rides. Your classification of ecstasy hor, is obesity liao la.

BTW, you and Papi also talk about breast la. So I shall repeat here. If anyone wants to get an F, come to Penang. We are the silcone hills expert, get to stay at 5-star hotel for recovery somemore. My piece to help tourism penang. Hahaha.

Willwolf said...

Walau. Buaya is sexpert.

If anyone wants to get an A, please proceed to KLIA. LOL

Anonymous said...

OMG..I cannot stop laughing..I can't believe it..how you know how to calculate this wan? I use this calculation method as well. LOL LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!! now i know.. what you are up to.. with the guys..!! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!! now i know.. what you are up to.. with the guys..!! LOL!

andycjw said...

your cup size thing is different from what i learnt, after checking victoria's secret website, mine is the correct one, you should add 5 inches instead of 4 to the measurement below bust, and each 1 inch difference is up one alphabet size, not 2 inch, and it's only until H cup, after H cup, each alphabet increment is then 2 inch, and double alphabet is in between value, so...
A=1", AA=1~2" (if below 1 inch, just forget about it, no need to measure i think)
B=2", BB=2~3"
C=3", CC=3~4"
D=4", DD=5", DDD=6"
E=5", EE=6", EEE=7"
so on... until
H=8", HH=9",
I=10", II=11"

get it?

Anonymous said...

I guess a lot men know this measurement better than the women.

lucia said...

that's so right, twinsmom. i was going to say that too. why, i myself don't even know that! now that the buaya here had revealed it, baru i tahu. :)

Anonymous said...

I ketawa sampai pecah perut.

Now I know... :P

Nicholas Chay said...

what is all this tetek talk...

Yuen Li said...

If F=fake, then what's G? ;)

Anonymous said...

G for GoodnessGraciousMe!!!?? :)

mama23beas said...

You're damn good la, belacan...I'm just amazed!

Anonymous said...

Wahlau..I didn't know you measure that way oso. RESPECT.

Buaya69 said...

boo_licious: glad you liked it, but must confess it's not original lar. heard that when i was studying in uni!

kucing: hehehe, it's also an art! ;)

dGoddess: quick, go ask your hubby whether he knows this or not. muahahahar! ;) ;)

lilian: breast augmentation kat Penang? i would have never known.... :D

willwolf: you and i sama geng one. awoooooo!

skay: ahem, it's easy to learn when there's some motivation. *cough cough*

big_bok: ya, all talk cock only! bwahahaha!

andycjw: wahlaueh! this comment is gonna go up into the post. hehehe ;)

twinsmom, lucia & poulotte: must know, if not how to buy bra as surprise gift? *cough cough*

Yuen Li & James: G for Gulpz... coz have to swallow own saliva! muahahahar!

mama22beas: who says you only learn warfare at PALAPES? *cough cough*

Anonymous said...

kurang tepat statement Bear tu, kat office saya, amoi-amoi semuanya memberangsangkan :P

Anonymous said...

new info for me. never know about the measurement before.
usually, i'll just go over to the salesperson...nah...what's my size? then she'll give me a few of it and i just try it out.

Mumsgather said...

Bwahahahahahah!!!! (*Thumps keyboard*)

Papi said...

HAHAHA!!
ABCDEFG...

zbjernak said...

so educating...
a for airport
b for bumpy ride
c for can do

hmmm.... never i know belancas can be such a good teacher...
and thanks dude
hahahahaha

Buaya69 said...

ahpink: free education over the internet :D

Atrco: fuiyouh! let's swap. My tempat here ramai Awek with baju kebaya! nosebleed.... :P

Miche: Guys love biology. :P

MG: You are welcome! hehehe

Papi: eh? you dunno meh? pretend lar you! hehehe

zbjernak: anytime bro! ;)

Babe_KL said...

wah terror la.. more terror than ladies kakaka

CrazyGrr| said...

bwahahhaaa!! That Bra Cup list is damn chun ler.

Princess Running Water (soon-to-be Queen) said...

Weiiii i can't believe u guys!
I'm girl but can't be bothered to remember all that. Kepoh la u all! Just see cuci mata enough la! why need the tepat measurement???