When fellow buaya's have lunch

A few days ago, this conversation took place when I was having lunch with Bear (Malay guy, early 30s, married) and Perut (Punjabi guy, mid-40s, married):

Belacans: Come, today we try this stall.

Bear: Sini kah? Aiyah, panas lar

Perut: Boleh lar, I sudah hungry. can pengsan you know?

Bear: This Perut ah, asyik-asyik pikiak makan aje...

*dush - Perut punches Bear's shoulders*

Belacans: ok, let's order. gua sudah manyak lapar.

*then, a sweet Aminah in baju kurung came to take our orders. I can sense Bear and Perut giving her a "scan". Later...*

Belacans: wah, you two har, manyak buaya lar. *wink wink*

Bear: eh? mana ada? kalau buaya, dapat dah number dia le.

Perut: me? buaya? mana ada? just... how you say?... appreciating the view!

*all: bwahahahaha*

Perut: Bear, cakap. apa you appreciate?

Bear: hehehe, you all know me lar. Saya suka itu breast. hehehe

Belacans: oh ya ke? hehehe, so what's your "expert" opinion?

Bear: i would say... 40D

*Belacans and Perut almost choke on their own saliva*

Perut: oi! Mana ada 40D? You tau ke tak tau ni? expert... keparat hotak engkau lah!

Bear: woi, not so loud lar! *laugh* ok, you cakap skarang. saiz apa?

Perut: hah, tentang subjek ini, saya memang expert. I say 34C. 100% jamin tepat.

Bear: wah, jamin lagi! betul ke ni?

Perut: mestilah. woi, i watch Hindustani shows, tau? we like it big!

*all: bwahahahaha*

Bear: ya ler. you India always get big big one, Melayu medium but kadang-kadang big jugak and.... sorry lar Belacans. I am so sad for you, hehehehe

Belacans: eh? tak payah sad for me ler. got best-best one also. must tengok whole package one.

Perut: hahaha, ini Bear manyak racist! racist, i tell you, racist racist racist!

*all: bwahahahahahahahaha LOL thumping table bwahahahaha*

Lunch hours are the best. One minute you talk about work, then mysteriously linked to sex, then linked to politics, then AP, then cars and then back to sex.....

Bear: Perut, I want to check whether your 100% jamin tepat is tepat.

Perut: *almost chokes on his nasi pattaya* hehehe, jangan lar. nanti malu pulak our cik adik.

Bear: hehehe, takut sial. hehehe. but tell me about bra sizes. i want to learn.

Belacans: huh? unbelievable. you tak tau ke?

Bear: sikit sikit lar.

Belacans: Come, i ajar you this system, sure won't forget one. Itu nombor is the ukurlilit just under the buah dada, dalam inci, and plus 4 inci. Faham?

Bear: oooo, begitu... why add 4 inci?

Belacans: hah, itu I dunno, but you should know about the cup size and that's the ABCD. So let's say our adik Aminah here has an ukurlilit of 30 inci, then add 4 you get 34 inci. Next is the ukurlilit at the tip. Let's say she got 40 inci. Tolak 34 inci from 40 inci you get 6 inci. That 6 inci is the cup size. So our cik Aminah would be err.... 34C lor.

Bear: woi! confusing lar! Got simpler method arr?

Belacans: not confusing. each 2 inci difference is an alphabet size. come, i draw you a table on this tissue paper.... (I wished I had kept that tissue paper and scanned it here... oh well)

A = 2 inci
B = 4
C = 6
D = 8
E = 10

You got that?

Perut: wooo, I see. But so technical, sure forget punya.

Belacans: *hits own forehead* aiyoyo! You all ni engineers or not arrr? Ok ok, I give you my personal system now. *writes on tissue paper again*

A = 2 inci = Airport
B = 4 = Bumpy
C = 6 = Can do
D = 8 = Damn syiok
E = 10 = Ecstasy

and added this

F = 12 = FAKE!

*all: bwahahahahaha*

Belacans says... "life long learning... yeah!"

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UPDATE: Got this comment from andycjw. Thanks bro!

your cup size thing is different from what i learnt, after checking victoria's secret website, mine is the correct one, you should add 5 inches instead of 4 to the measurement below bust, and each 1 inch difference is up one alphabet size, not 2 inch, and it's only until H cup, after H cup, each alphabet increment is then 2 inch, and double alphabet is in between value, so...
A=1", AA=1~2" (if below 1 inch, just forget about it, no need to measure i think)
B=2", BB=2~3"
C=3", CC=3~4"
D=4", DD=5", DDD=6"
E=5", EE=6", EEE=7"
so on... until
H=8", HH=9",
I=10", II=11" get it?

Wahlaueh, so now gotta update my Bra Cup list:

A = Airport
B = Bumpy
C = Can do
D = Damn syiok
E = Ecstasy
F = FAKE! FUIYOUH!
G = GoodnessGraciousMe! (contributed by James of Loopymeals.blogspot.com)
H = Holy balloons! :D :P