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Undilah

Thursday, July 28, 2005

When fellow buaya's have lunch

A few days ago, this conversation took place when I was having lunch with Bear (Malay guy, early 30s, married) and Perut (Punjabi guy, mid-40s, married):

Belacans: Come, today we try this stall.

Bear: Sini kah? Aiyah, panas lar

Perut: Boleh lar, I sudah hungry. can pengsan you know?

Bear: This Perut ah, asyik-asyik pikiak makan aje...

*dush - Perut punches Bear's shoulders*

Belacans: ok, let's order. gua sudah manyak lapar.

*then, a sweet Aminah in baju kurung came to take our orders. I can sense Bear and Perut giving her a "scan". Later...*

Belacans: wah, you two har, manyak buaya lar. *wink wink*

Bear: eh? mana ada? kalau buaya, dapat dah number dia le.

Perut: me? buaya? mana ada? just... how you say?... appreciating the view!

*all: bwahahahaha*

Perut: Bear, cakap. apa you appreciate?

Bear: hehehe, you all know me lar. Saya suka itu breast. hehehe

Belacans: oh ya ke? hehehe, so what's your "expert" opinion?

Bear: i would say... 40D

*Belacans and Perut almost choke on their own saliva*

Perut: oi! Mana ada 40D? You tau ke tak tau ni? expert... keparat hotak engkau lah!

Bear: woi, not so loud lar! *laugh* ok, you cakap skarang. saiz apa?

Perut: hah, tentang subjek ini, saya memang expert. I say 34C. 100% jamin tepat.

Bear: wah, jamin lagi! betul ke ni?

Perut: mestilah. woi, i watch Hindustani shows, tau? we like it big!

*all: bwahahahaha*

Bear: ya ler. you India always get big big one, Melayu medium but kadang-kadang big jugak and.... sorry lar Belacans. I am so sad for you, hehehehe

Belacans: eh? tak payah sad for me ler. got best-best one also. must tengok whole package one.

Perut: hahaha, ini Bear manyak racist! racist, i tell you, racist racist racist!

*all: bwahahahahahahahaha LOL thumping table bwahahahaha*

Lunch hours are the best. One minute you talk about work, then mysteriously linked to sex, then linked to politics, then AP, then cars and then back to sex.....

Bear: Perut, I want to check whether your 100% jamin tepat is tepat.

Perut: *almost chokes on his nasi pattaya* hehehe, jangan lar. nanti malu pulak our cik adik.

Bear: hehehe, takut sial. hehehe. but tell me about bra sizes. i want to learn.

Belacans: huh? unbelievable. you tak tau ke?

Bear: sikit sikit lar.

Belacans: Come, i ajar you this system, sure won't forget one. Itu nombor is the ukurlilit just under the buah dada, dalam inci, and plus 4 inci. Faham?

Bear: oooo, begitu... why add 4 inci?

Belacans: hah, itu I dunno, but you should know about the cup size and that's the ABCD. So let's say our adik Aminah here has an ukurlilit of 30 inci, then add 4 you get 34 inci. Next is the ukurlilit at the tip. Let's say she got 40 inci. Tolak 34 inci from 40 inci you get 6 inci. That 6 inci is the cup size. So our cik Aminah would be err.... 34C lor.

Bear: woi! confusing lar! Got simpler method arr?

Belacans: not confusing. each 2 inci difference is an alphabet size. come, i draw you a table on this tissue paper.... (I wished I had kept that tissue paper and scanned it here... oh well)

A = 2 inci
B = 4
C = 6
D = 8
E = 10

You got that?

Perut: wooo, I see. But so technical, sure forget punya.

Belacans: *hits own forehead* aiyoyo! You all ni engineers or not arrr? Ok ok, I give you my personal system now. *writes on tissue paper again*

A = 2 inci = Airport
B = 4 = Bumpy
C = 6 = Can do
D = 8 = Damn syiok
E = 10 = Ecstasy

and added this

F = 12 = FAKE!

*all: bwahahahahaha*

Belacans says... "life long learning... yeah!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------
UPDATE: Got this comment from andycjw. Thanks bro!

your cup size thing is different from what i learnt, after checking victoria's secret website, mine is the correct one, you should add 5 inches instead of 4 to the measurement below bust, and each 1 inch difference is up one alphabet size, not 2 inch, and it's only until H cup, after H cup, each alphabet increment is then 2 inch, and double alphabet is in between value, so...
A=1", AA=1~2" (if below 1 inch, just forget about it, no need to measure i think)
B=2", BB=2~3"
C=3", CC=3~4"
D=4", DD=5", DDD=6"
E=5", EE=6", EEE=7"
so on... until
H=8", HH=9",
I=10", II=11" get it?

Wahlaueh, so now gotta update my Bra Cup list:

A = Airport
B = Bumpy
C = Can do
D = Damn syiok
E = Ecstasy
F = FAKE! FUIYOUH!
G = GoodnessGraciousMe! (contributed by James of Loopymeals.blogspot.com)
H = Holy balloons! :D :P

27 comments:

boo_licious said...

ROTLF. Love your personal classification!

Kucing Gatal said...

Wow, so scientific lah you buayas....

domesticgoddess said...

wahlau... you really expert hah! LOL! the explanation so detail!!!

5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ said...

Da Buaya in his element! Oi, locally all at mostly bumpy rides. Your classification of ecstasy hor, is obesity liao la.

BTW, you and Papi also talk about breast la. So I shall repeat here. If anyone wants to get an F, come to Penang. We are the silcone hills expert, get to stay at 5-star hotel for recovery somemore. My piece to help tourism penang. Hahaha.

Willwolf said...

Walau. Buaya is sexpert.

If anyone wants to get an A, please proceed to KLIA. LOL

S-Kay said...

OMG..I cannot stop laughing..I can't believe it..how you know how to calculate this wan? I use this calculation method as well. LOL LOL LOL

Big Bok said...

Hahaha!! now i know.. what you are up to.. with the guys..!! LOL!

Big Bok said...

Hahaha!! now i know.. what you are up to.. with the guys..!! LOL!

andycjw said...

your cup size thing is different from what i learnt, after checking victoria's secret website, mine is the correct one, you should add 5 inches instead of 4 to the measurement below bust, and each 1 inch difference is up one alphabet size, not 2 inch, and it's only until H cup, after H cup, each alphabet increment is then 2 inch, and double alphabet is in between value, so...
A=1", AA=1~2" (if below 1 inch, just forget about it, no need to measure i think)
B=2", BB=2~3"
C=3", CC=3~4"
D=4", DD=5", DDD=6"
E=5", EE=6", EEE=7"
so on... until
H=8", HH=9",
I=10", II=11"

get it?

twinsmom said...

I guess a lot men know this measurement better than the women.

Lucia Lai said...

that's so right, twinsmom. i was going to say that too. why, i myself don't even know that! now that the buaya here had revealed it, baru i tahu. :)

poulotte said...

I ketawa sampai pecah perut.

Now I know... :P

Nicholas said...

what is all this tetek talk...

Yuen Li said...

If F=fake, then what's G? ;)

james said...

G for GoodnessGraciousMe!!!?? :)

Mama22Beas said...

You're damn good la, belacan...I'm just amazed!

ah pink said...

Wahlau..I didn't know you measure that way oso. RESPECT.

Belacan said...

boo_licious: glad you liked it, but must confess it's not original lar. heard that when i was studying in uni!

kucing: hehehe, it's also an art! ;)

dGoddess: quick, go ask your hubby whether he knows this or not. muahahahar! ;) ;)

lilian: breast augmentation kat Penang? i would have never known.... :D

willwolf: you and i sama geng one. awoooooo!

skay: ahem, it's easy to learn when there's some motivation. *cough cough*

big_bok: ya, all talk cock only! bwahahaha!

andycjw: wahlaueh! this comment is gonna go up into the post. hehehe ;)

twinsmom, lucia & poulotte: must know, if not how to buy bra as surprise gift? *cough cough*

Yuen Li & James: G for Gulpz... coz have to swallow own saliva! muahahahar!

mama22beas: who says you only learn warfare at PALAPES? *cough cough*

ATRCO said...

kurang tepat statement Bear tu, kat office saya, amoi-amoi semuanya memberangsangkan :P

miche said...

new info for me. never know about the measurement before.
usually, i'll just go over to the salesperson...nah...what's my size? then she'll give me a few of it and i just try it out.

mumsgather said...

Bwahahahahahah!!!! (*Thumps keyboard*)

Papi said...

HAHAHA!!
ABCDEFG...

zbjernak said...

so educating...
a for airport
b for bumpy ride
c for can do

hmmm.... never i know belancas can be such a good teacher...
and thanks dude
hahahahaha

Belacan said...

ahpink: free education over the internet :D

Atrco: fuiyouh! let's swap. My tempat here ramai Awek with baju kebaya! nosebleed.... :P

Miche: Guys love biology. :P

MG: You are welcome! hehehe

Papi: eh? you dunno meh? pretend lar you! hehehe

zbjernak: anytime bro! ;)

babe_kl said...

wah terror la.. more terror than ladies kakaka

CrazyGrr| said...

bwahahhaaa!! That Bra Cup list is damn chun ler.

eagleOK said...

Weiiii i can't believe u guys!
I'm girl but can't be bothered to remember all that. Kepoh la u all! Just see cuci mata enough la! why need the tepat measurement???