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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Paul Tan for Proton CEO

Or that's what the enemies of Paul Tan would like to ensure, hoping that he would fall flat as the new CEO of Proton. Many trying challenges awaits the new CEO of Proton, and that is simply running the "institution" as a respected business instead of "reaping" off Ahmad, Ah Kau and Samy (or in blogospeak... ATRCO, Wingz and Sashi).

But these enemies didn't realise that our Paul Tan, who is also known as Polar Bear, has a stomach made of composite materials and the years of training at the esteemed institute of EFDL (EatFirstDieLater) run by a certain mysterious Dr Liew, has prepared him well for this position.

Rumours are rife that he will be appointing Mack as Proton's new marketing director, and to fly Desmo to Italy to kick MV Agusta into a nice vroom vroom. But top on everyone's mind is, who will the Polar Bear get as his new sexytary? Coz everyone knows that the sexytary is the one running the CEO....

A recent leaked confidential memo from the well-connected Buaya69 HR Consulting Agency has got the market wagging. The memo shortlisted the following candidates to be Polar Bear's new sexytary:

1) Aunty Lilian - Good motherly qualities. Will make sure CEO gets spanking if not doing his job

2) Suanie - Good go between for CEO. If CEO is in a bad mood, will wear a cap with horns to warn colleagues.

3) Minishorts - Writes good memos for CEO. Developed a cryptic memo system using fairytales icons to get CEO's message across. For example, Dear Big Bad Wolf...

4) FuckStress - Protects CEO well from unwanted calls or attention. Nice gal but will kick-ass if circumstances requires.

Disclaimer: No bloggers were hurt during this silly, eat-full-nothing-to-do, post.

18 comments:

doc said...

ROTFLMAO!!! That's a good one!

Pantani's 2nd Cousin said...

Proton is hiring thehustlerdiary for internal fabric test manager.

jxt2j said...

omg that's good

long live Paul Tan!

5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ said...

All hail Paul Tan.

Oi, Mr B, why tiba-tiba my name appears pulak?

But Paul - hire me. I WAS a sexy-turkey before and I can start practicising sobbing in public from now. In case you need a fat lady with specs to divert attention when another AP issue surface.

Jason said...

Hahaa! This is good! Long live Paul Tan!

Wingz said...

hahaha oi i wanna be driver to CEO Paul Tan !!!

Mack Zulkifli said...

Hahahaha ... see! Blogs get you the news first

Paul Tan said...

ROTFLOLOLOLLOL!

Jeyadev said...

i know who's already qualified...

minishorts said...

you thought of this and you went and blogged it, you blogged it, oh you BLOGGED IT, YOU BLOGGED IT.

WHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH hahaha

Jojo Low said...

siao siao punya belacans. ish ....

suanie said...

lmaoooo omg everyone siao today!!!

Willwolf said...

I pity Paul. Now he has to polish manyak olang punya kasut or else kena fire like current one. LOL

Belacan said...

hahaha, glad you guys liked it. i was bored, hence... Long live Paul Tan! ;)

carryn said...

Mr Be.. AIESEC forum mampui lah kah? okok. i dont ask..

banyak laujuak lah here...

NSDS3HvLDjJd said...

Hohoho!

narrowband said...

"...Coz everyone knows that the sexytary is the one running the CEO...."

ROTFL!

sashi said...

Woi! Tiba tiba je my name kena masuk.. :P