#1: On Plus highway
Wahlaueh! Really raining cats and dogs! Thank goodness I had my Rain-X applied on the windscreen. Can see better. WTF! Aqua-planing! *wipes sweat* Mana boleh? Must check my Michelin tyres when I get back to KL. Shit! Raining so hard itu express bus still so fast datang from behind, KNN....
If I am attached any longer with this outfit, I better request for a 4WD. Damn! Off-roads are no place for an old 8 year old Wira. More of this and my absorbers sure koyak one. Sigh... I just bloody aligned and balanced the wheels two weeks ago for RM65! @#$%
"Tuan, di sini quarters tuan." Terima kasih... looks around... wah! Got TV, air-cond, water heater, kitchen and fully carpeted! "Harap tuan selesa di sini. Ini adalah Quarters VVIP kita." Cehwah, hehehe
The evening sun was blazingly bright. Hey, what's that? Wah! 1, 2, no, 4! Four enggang birds! Wah, their flight is so graceful. Eh, they are gliding towards me! Wahhhhhhh... wait, KNN! No camera with me! Shit, they are only 12 feet above me! No camera! @#$%! (No cameras without permission allowed into restricted areas)
Walking in a cloudless night. It's almost a full moon so I didn't use a torchlight. Wah, the night sounds are so sweet. Almost sounded like the night scenes of any P.Ramlee movies. I can hear the "kreak kreak", "chit chit chit", "wek-wek-wek", "took toook toook" and even the owl's "woo hoo" on occassions. So peaceful.... sniff sniff. eh, how come no kodok sounds one?
Walking towards complex... Prfftt! Shit! Walked right into a spider web! @#$%! Brushing face vigourously with my left hand. Wait, what's this? More new single line webs? FARK! That stupid spider is on my body! @#$%! Hope it drops off soon, ka-ka-cau-cau only. Walk walk walk...
eh, an, eh, an, eh, an, kiriiiibbb.... continue marching under the morning sun. "Squad....ti!" *berapp prapp burap* "Woi! Apa ni? Berterabur macam tait lembu! Kamu tidur kah?"
During parade inspection. "Kamu ni dari mana?" Dari KL, TUAN! "Hah! Bekas askar ni boleh tahan jugak" *kembang kembang*
"Berhegeh-hegeh lagi ya? Semua down 20!"
2am... *cak cak cak*... basket punya cicak! Gotta wake up early lar, @#$%. *cak cak cak* Arrggghh!
4am... standing on the verandah of my "VVIP" quarters. Ahhhh... cool fresh air. Wait, what's that smell? Smells like... urine... wild animal urine! Must be a musang. Kalau tangkap... hehehe ;)
Wah, so many insects flying around those flood lights. Eh, got bats zooming in and out of those insects! Darn, no camera to test my skills, bloody wasted. Better go back to sleep, yawwwnnn!
"Apa yang telah dimaklumkan dalam bilik ini kekal dalam bilik ini, faham? Kalau aku baca anonymous caller ke, anonymous source ke, hah! Siap kamu semua ni!"
#8: Jenaka Popular Minggu Ini
Ayah Pin and Kerajaan Langit jokes rulez! Man, I have never heard so many Ayah Pin jokes before. bwahahahaha!
Belacan says... "My poor wira.... sobz sobz sobz"