Thursday, March 31, 2005

Enemy at your Door

One of the movies that I liked was Enemy at the Gates staring Jude Law, Ed Harris, Rachel Weisz and Joseph Fiennes. It was a war drama set in WWII Stalingrad, a battle of wits and technique between the best German and Russian sniper there.

Although they have not seen each other eye-to-eye, the two main characters displayed great admiration for each other. But they were still enemies, because they wore different uniforms and they knew that only one can prevail at the end. At the finale, when Ed Harris knew that he was caught dead in Jude's sniper sight, he let out a sigh and turned to face his fate at a worthy opponent. Bang!

Unlike the yeehaw movies we have been fed all this while, we didn't see Jude's character jumping up and down in a touchdown like celebration. Instead his eyes displayed sadness, relief and respect for his enemy.

We make more enemies than friends
Today, I want to blog about our own enemies. Let's face the fact - everyone will have enemies, no matter how kind, intelligent, hard-working or nicely behaved they were. You will make enemies at work, school, associations, mahjong tables, swimming pool, on the road, internet... my goodness, maybe even at the public toilet! In fact, you will make enemies just being who you are. So, still think that you don't have enemies? hehehe, think again...

At work, most of our enemies are snipers too. You sense bullets zinging past you, hitting your desk, car, files and worse, a few of your friendly parties even got killed... but you still can't see that bloody snipper fella(s). They will get you by ensuring that your projects fail, but the easier way is through rumours and gossips to kill you off.

Face off
In my 12 years of working life, I have only met one enemy whom I had to fight cowboy style. Imagine "Gunfight at OK Corral"... walking down a deserted street...spurs clicking... facing your known enemy... bang bang bang! Well, in that shoot out I had to withdraw, wounded but not dead, because he was using Carl Gustav and Claymore mines whilst I only had a 15 year old HK9mm pistol! But I learnt a lot from that fight. Honestly, it wasn't like I wanted to fight someone with such high powered weapons but I had no choice... he saw me as an enemy that needs to be eliminated and I had no other choice but to defend myself.

And why did I, a small fly compared to him, became his enemy? A very good friend of mine (whom now is promoted higher than this enemy, who has proceeded to make more enemies than supporters) said it all. I was a threat by virtue of me being smarter, better looking, more charming with the ladies but the most damning was me being ambitious and hungry for success.

Fighting back
Yes, you are definitely going to make enemies when you are ambitious. The eagerness to build a personal brand by taking risks, taking stands, making sure you are heard and accomplishing big things will not go down well with people who are jealous or are afraid that you will soon be the boss.

So what do you do? Stay silent like those strong silent types depicted by chinese TV dramas? Sorry lar, it doesn't work that way in reality. You better find out who are those fellas who have been sniping at your heels, find out what the rumours are and then fight them with all your heart!

There are always ways to fight back. Open your eyes and ears and you will find them. If you have a reputation for fairness and professionalism, it won't be hard to get supporters. When you have to fight, you fight! There's no such thing as being afraid lar, scared to fight lar... my goodness! If you won't fight for your own self-respect, no one will.
"Let people know that you are benevolent when dealt with fairly but dangerous when roused, and they are certain to treat you with respect. "
Source: Career Warfare by David F D'Alessandro
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven;
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build...
NIV Eccl 3:1-3
Ikan bilis sayings... there wouldn't be any hero warriors if there weren't any wars, right?


CherryChocolateCandy said...

Enemy is such a strong word don't you think?
I have come acrossed so many people that I disliked throughout my schooling/college/uni life but I don't think I've made an enemy.

5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ said...

Thank you Lord for Mr Belacan's words. It is like I am penning this. I had been fighting for my own beliefs and I make enemies even when I am trying to make friends! And I seem to make enemies in real world and cyberworld. LOL! But thank God for all the timely reminders. I know I am not so bad after all. It ain't my fault, right?

Wingz said...

We are living in a cruel cruel world aint we ? kill or be killed, itsa dog eat dog world buddy!

Twinsmom said...

enlightening post you got here.
it seems like you have turn your enemies's status to become your componets, didn't you?

Belacan said...

cherry: yes, enemy is a strong word indeed. just like you, i never thot of having any enemies while still at school, uni and even my first 7 years of working. enemies come uninvited when you move up the corporate ladder. sad, isn't it?

lilian: all i can say is "trust in the Lord." ;)

Wingz: i gotta learn from you lar. You taikor tai tai!

Twinsmom: eh? dun read too much in between the line... hehehe *wink wink* (wah, twinsmom so kleber :))

Wingz said...

Aiyak~~ Mr.Belacan dun put me in table larr ... i newbie lei geh ... now ledi got a few "POWDERFOOL" enemies jor ... *sigh*

mystic said...

I've not made any enemies yet so far so I guess that's a good thing er???

sexymama said...

Send them love, and you'll see changes.(Not physically, just telepathically).

Otherwise just send them some belacan :)

Belacan said...

Wingz: you biznes man, sure got peeple jealous punya. hang in there bro!

Mystic: better to have more admirers than enemies, i say. haiks! ;)

Wingz said...

Belacan : biznes man ? who ? me ? i think you silap olang ler ... i m only petronas cheras branch pump attendant only. I m in charge of pump no.3 nx to me is pump no.1(myanmar) and pump no.3(bangla). If u come put petrol pls tell me, i will give u free windshield cleaning in exchange for your authograph :P

Yuen Li said...

Nice blog. :) And thanks for visiting mine. :)

ah pink said...

Enemies? Do you want some of mine? LOL

Enemies are inevitable. You don't even have to step on toes to get some. Some people don't like the way you look, dress, talk, walk, etc, and BOOM! Welcome to my world. But enemies adds a little spice to our life, don't you think so?

Gab said...

*deja vu* guess no one can escape the wrath of making enemies. *sigh* im firmly believe that one should treat others as how they want to be treated. *cheers to life* ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi! I have long been your blog fan but never had a reason to leave a comment till today :D

I'd like to invite you for some career talks to undergraduates.Being a local graduate yourself, I hope you would at least explore it.
Please do contact me at workfnb@gmail.com.
(MU is also my alma-mater:D)

with thanks,